Evidence & Documentation

---

 Evidence & Documentation

This page explains what evidence means on Facts Over Rumors, why documentation matters, and how clear records can prevent rumors from becoming accepted truth.

This is not legal advice. It is practical, experience-based guidance focused on accuracy, restraint, and verification.

In many systems, narratives move faster than facts.

Accusations can trigger immediate consequences, while verification comes later—if it comes at all. When documentation is weak, incomplete, or scattered, assumptions fill the gaps.

Evidence slows that process down.

Clear records:

• Reduce misinterpretation
   
• Expose inconsistencies
   
• Preserve context
   
• Protect against narrative drift
   

Evidence does not guarantee fairness—but the absence of evidence almost guarantees distortion.

Evidence is verifiable information, not belief or opinion.

Common forms include:

• Medical evaluations and reports
   
• Professional assessments (therapists, supervisors, evaluators)
   
• Court filings and official orders
   
• Administrative or agency records
   
• Written communications (email, court-approved apps)
   
• Photographs or video with clear context and timestamps
   
• Contemporaneous logs or journals
   

The strongest evidence is:

• Created close in time to the event
   
• Objective and factual
   
• Preserved in its original form
   

The following are often treated as evidence—but are not:

• Assumptions or interpretations
   
• Second-hand statements without corroboration
   
• Emotional reactions
   
• Social-media posts or private messages taken out of context
   
• Retellings that change over time
   

Opinions may explain how something felt, but they cannot establish what happened.

The following principles work together. None stand alone.

Describe only what you can see, hear, or verify.

Bad example:

“They were trying to control me.”
 

Better example:

“At 3:15 PM, the request was denied without explanation despite prior written approval.”
 

Memories degrade quickly.

Whenever possible:

• Write notes the same day
   
• Save messages immediately
   
• Preserve originals before discussing events with others
   

Do not rely on memory alone.

Preserve:

• Original screenshots
   
• Original files and PDFs
   
• Metadata (dates, timestamps)
   
• Full message threads—not excerpts
   

Avoid editing or annotating originals. Create copies if notes are needed.

It is acceptable to note interpretation—but it must be clearly labeled.

Example:

“Interpretation: This response may indicate non-cooperation.”
 

This protects credibility and prevents accusations of narrative shaping.

A single event rarely tells the full story.

Patterns emerge through timelines.

Effective timelines:

• Are chronological
   
• Include dates, times, and sources
   
• Reference supporting documents
   
• Avoid conclusions
   

Timelines allow professionals to see patterns without persuasion.

Written communication often becomes evidence—whether intended or not.

Best practices:

• Write every message as if it will be reviewed
   
• Avoid emotional language
   
• Focus on logistics and facts
   
• Use court-approved platforms when available
   

Poor communication can undermine strong evidence.

Not every situation produces perfect documentation.

When evidence is incomplete:

• Acknowledge limitations
   
• Do not fill gaps with assumption
   
• Preserve what does exist
   

Honesty about uncertainty strengthens credibility.

Common errors include:

• Over-explaining or justifying
   
• Venting in written records
   
• Editing originals
   
• Mixing fact and emotion
   
• Failing to save communications
   
• Relying on memory instead of records
   

Documentation should clarify—not escalate.

 What “Gatekeeping” Looks Like

Gatekeeping is when one parent controls access to the children or information — not based on safety or court orders, but to limit the other parent’s involvement.

Common examples include:

• Refusing to share medical/school/provider details
• Withholding schedules or not confirming logistics
• Ignoring reasonable parenting questions
• Blocking access to accounts (school portals, childcare apps, bank accounts for the kids, etc.)
• Creating last-minute changes that make parenting time harder
• Making unilateral decisions and informing you after the fact

What “Stonewalling” Looks Like

Stonewalling is when one parent avoids communication to prevent cooperation. It’s not disagreement — it’s non-response, deflection, or selective replies that stop co-parenting from functioning.

Common examples include:

• Not answering direct questions
• Responding to one small point but ignoring the main issue
• Saying “check the calendar” when the calendar is incomplete
• Delaying responses until it’s too late to act
• Repeating the same line instead of addressing the request (“I’m not discussing that,” “talk to your attorney,” etc.)

Evidence is not about proving perfection.

It is about preserving reality.

When narratives form quickly, evidence is what keeps truth anchored.
 

Facts Over Rumors exists to reinforce that anchor.